You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
