I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize