I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize