i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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