it wasn't lemon gatorade
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
