mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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