your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
