It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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