if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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