Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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