I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
