I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
