She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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