You smell like stripper and shame
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
