Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
