But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
