just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
