The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
