Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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