Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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