She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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