It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
