which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
MIDGETS
????
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
