your thong is hanging out like whoa
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
