drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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