beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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