why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
