so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize