Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
