Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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