My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
