I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
