There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
