He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
