Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
