Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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