There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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