you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
