the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
