I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
