You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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