So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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