I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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