i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
