I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize