I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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