Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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