I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
