there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
