I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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