What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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