I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
