I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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