Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
