I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
