Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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