WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
