So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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